It
has been over six months since I have last posted on this blog and I
have no excuses to cite in addressing my lack of commitment to that
which I have set out to do other than my apathy. We all get lazy from
time to time. We all have periods of time in our lives when
discouragements and challenges in daily life affect our levels of
motivation to accomplish the things we truly desire to do.
Unfortunately, for me, discouragement has lingered over my life and
has caused me to withdraw and neglect the things I know I have been
called to do. It’s not that I’m coming out and saying that for the
last six months I have been living in “sin,” but I have been
living in a dangerous place where my life has been more dictated by
the prodding of my flesh rather than the power of the Spirit within
me. Strangely, it’s not that I have gravitated toward a mentality
of worldliness or fleshliness; instead, I’ve developed an attitude
that has embraced defeat and discouragement as my lot in life. I
think of David in 2 Samuel 11 laying aside his “calling” as King
and choosing to remain secluded on a rooftop on his palace. Whether
or not he was tired or depressed can be debated, but one thing is
certain, for this moment in his life he was not living as the person
God intended him to be. The results were devastating. He went from
the “man after God’s own heart” to an adulterer, liar, and
murderer. If he had only went to war and went through “one more
battle” perhaps a greater blessing that he had never known would
have been his to behold.
Looking
back on these last six months, I know that I have missed blessings
because I have failed to fight through my discouragement and
depression. I have made myself so small in my eyes not realizing that
I am more than a “king” in the eyes of God…I am a son of the
God over all the universe! And while He allows me to go through these
trials and pains that come with living in a depraved and marred
world, He has also given me everything I need to fight every battle I
face if I would simply continue on in what He has called me to do. I
confess to all who are reading this that I have strayed and have
failed my Lord and King. I have not lived as the person He has called
me to be. I have fallen short of His glory; yet, I also know that
“my
Redeemer lives”
(Job 19:25) and that if I will allow Him, He will make me “more
than a conqueror”
(Romans 8:27) and live in such a way where “His
grace is sufficient and His power is perfected in my weakness”
(2 Corinthians 12:9). I am being called out of this dark night into a
marvelous light where I can begin to be who God has destined me to
be. Fear, discouragement, and temptation will certainly continue to
come my way; however, they do not have to dictate the life I have
been called to live. Today is a new day and the “life
I live…I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave
Himself for me”
(Galatians 2:20). No more wandering on the rooftop of the palace of
my discouragement and pain. It’s time to once again go to war and
fight my battles knowing that “no
weapon formed against me shall prosper” (Isaiah
54:17) and walk in the victory that is rightfully mine because I have
made myself fully His.
